An heir will not cooperate: help with a stalled estate

1. Establish who the heirs are and who has authority to act

Start with the documents that establish the positions of those involved. These include the will, a certificate of inheritance and information about acceptance or renunciation. Being a relative does not, by itself, establish the full extent of someone's authority. An executor, estate liquidator, administrator or person holding a power of attorney may also have a separate role.

Therefore, do not simply ask who manages a bank account. Ask on what basis that person acts and which tasks still have to be completed. If the inheritance has been accepted under benefit of inventory, liquidation may need to take place first. It is then premature to discuss only payment of an inheritance share. If in doubt, have the order of steps and the parties' authority explained before making a definitive accusation.

2. Specify the part that has stalled

“My brother is blocking everything” expresses your frustration, but does not yet define a task that can be resolved. List the separate decisions: checking the estate inventory, choosing an estate agent, having valuables appraised, sharing bank information or discussing a distribution proposal. For each item, state who needs to do something and what previous agreement exists about it.

Distinguish missing information from a substantive disagreement. An heir cannot agree to a distribution that has not yet been substantiated. Conversely, another bank statement will not automatically resolve a disagreement about one heir taking over the house. Making this distinction helps an adviser tackle the obstacle with the greatest impact first.

3. Build a file that can be checked

Keep the existing inventory of assets and debts and note which items remain uncertain. Add only information you obtained lawfully. Keep bank statements and valuations you receive, together with their dates. Record whether an amount is established, estimated or disputed by another heir.

Also draw up a short timeline of your attempts to discuss matters. A list of dates, requests and responses is more useful than hundreds of unsorted messages. Do not search the deceased's or another heir's accounts yourself without established authority. Discuss with the notary or lawyer how missing information can be requested properly.

4. Make a written proposal with a clearly defined request

State which matter you want to complete and which documents are needed. Where possible, include a concrete proposal, such as two available times for a meeting or an appraiser to be chosen jointly. Ask for a response within a suitable period, taking account of the information needed and the practical circumstances.

A response date you choose does not automatically cause the other person to lose their inheritance share. Present the deadline as a request for progress, not as a legal penalty you have invented. If rising expenses or an impending sale are putting pressure on the estate, seek advice about the actual urgency rather than simply sending increasingly stern letters.

5. Choose between notarial intervention, mediation and advice

The civil-law notary can help seek agreement among all heirs and record the remaining disputed points. A mediator may be appropriate if those involved are willing to work together on a solution. Where the dispute concerns a specific difference in valuation, an expert agreed on jointly may help resolve it.

Your own lawyer has a different role: assessing and representing your position. Discuss beforehand who is acting for whom, how independent a joint adviser must be and what happens if discussions fail. A proposal for discussions is particularly useful when it is clear which problem it will resolve and which decision will remain outstanding afterwards.

6. When do you need an inheritance lawyer?

Have the case assessed if information is repeatedly withheld, a distribution proposal cannot be discussed or you doubt the authority of the person managing the money. Suspected withdrawals or a dispute about an executor also warrant separate analysis. Gather concrete indications; an unsupported accusation does not strengthen the file.

If the parties cannot agree on distribution, Rechtspraak describes civil proceedings commenced by a summons in which legal representation is compulsory. The lawyer investigates which claim is appropriate and who must be involved. Ask what the proceedings can resolve, which information is needed first and what costs and evidential risks the choice entails. A lawyer cannot guarantee a particular outcome or completion time.

7. Fictional example: one house, three different wishes

Suppose three heirs share an estate containing a house. One wants to sell, one wants to take over the house and one does not respond because the bank information is missing. An immediate demand to sign a sale agreement does not bring those three different problems together.

A practical first step is to propose a joint inventory of debts and an independent valuation. The wish to take over the property can then be discussed alongside a concrete financing proposal. If cooperation is still withheld after that, a lawyer can assess the appropriate next step. This invented example does not determine authority to sell or enforceability in your own case.

8. Checklist for a focused first meeting

An initial meeting is more focused if you identify your desired result separately from the main obstacle. Also note which expenses continue to accrue and whether there is already a formal document or ongoing procedure. Always show your adviser any specific deadline stated in a letter.

• The will, certificate of inheritance and information about acceptance or renunciation.
• An estate inventory showing known assets, debts and uncertainties.
• Details of the executor, liquidator, powers of attorney and previous agreements.
• A timeline of requests for information, discussions and responses.
• Valuations, distribution proposals and a short description of your desired solution.